Today is not a good day. Today is a bad day. Today is a day where I want the world to end. Today I cant imagine getting to tomorrow. Today I dont know how I got here - where did it all go wrong? What did I do to deserve this?
Today I should be 23 weeks pregnant. I should be walking around with a big belly bump, buying cute pink outfits, decorating my nursery. I should be excited - counting down the days till I get to meet my baby girl. So why am I instead 6 weeks on from saying goodbye to my precious girl. Why did I have to spend the morning sat on the wet damp grass by the side of my daughters grave tears streaming down my face wanting to scream - Why cant I have her? Why cant I hug her? Why couldn't I keep her safe inside me? What did I do wrong? Why did it have to happen to her? How is that fair? Why is life so cruel?
There is a huge gaping hole in my heart and I dont think it will ever go away. Its been 6 weeks and yes some days I feel stronger but some days, like today, I dont want to face the world.
Why did this have to be my today?
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