I suppose I'm really doing this the wrong way around. I did think about starting a journal at the start of this journey but time just seemed to slip away and before I knew it we are here. I'm not entirely sure I know where 'here' even is - its a place I never imagined I would be thats for sure. Its a place that is sad and frightening all at once, a place where even when people surrond you you feel alone and vulnerable, a place I wish no one had to be, ever. But its a place where I belong now and a journey I must travel no matter how much I wish things could have been different. I am a completely different person to the one I was at the start of this journey but more than that its not just me thats changed - its the whole entire world I live in. Nothing is the same anymore. Nothing will ever be the same again. I have woken up with new eyes and this new world is a scary place to be.
So I start this journal a changed person, a new me. My dreams shattered into a million pieces on a day that will forever be etched in my memory - the 24th of July 2011, the day my world stopped - the day my daughter died.
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