Yesterday, October 15th was International pregnancy and infant loss awareness day. And it's a day as a baby loss mother we were well aware of approaching. But I wonder how many others were aware of it? This October so far I have heard about Breast Cancer awareness week and even chocolate week but so little from other people about the 15th.
And yet the statistics and percentages of losing a baby happening to you or someone you know are horrific. 17 babies die every day in the UK from stillbirth, neonatal death and SIDs. That doesn't take into account the tiny ones lost through miscarriage, or 2nd trimester loss before 24 weeks. I dread to think what the numbers would look like with these included. And that's just for the UK.
An estimated 1 in 4 women will suffer from pregnancy or infant loss. 1 in 100 woman will suffer multiple losses. And still people wont talk about it. People wont admit it is such a common occurence. So many are left to grieve in silence, alone.
October 15th is everyones chance to stand together and say - We remember our babies. To show the world that the did exist, that they were wanted, that they are loved and missed always.
Emilys memorial candle, her name in the sand pic, willow tree 'guardian' ornament - female clutching newborn infant close to her, tiny hat knitted by an angel mum from Calvins Hats, tiny teddy that Emily also has one of in her forever bed and 17 lit tealight candles to represent all the angel babies.
Lit candles in rememberance of all our babies gone too soon.
Always in our thoughts.
Forever in our hearts.
Whilst lighting my candles and photographing them I felt myself reflecting on lots of different aspects of my loss and how it has changed me. I felt strangely comforted later when I seen photographs of other lit candles from all over the world via facebook, blogger and an online forum I am a member of. It was comforting to know that candles were glowing bright all over the world for all our angels. It gave me a sense of unity, of friendship of 'belonging' that I feel has been missing since losing Emily. On that day my world stop turning - everything changed and for those around me their lives kept moving forward. Yes they were affected by my loss but for them life had to continue. And I guess I felt alone, isolated, left behind. Even in a room full of people. October 15th made me realise that I am not alone and for that I am grateful.
I light this candle in memory of
Emily McDonald
Born sleeping on the 24th July 2011
To remember is painful,
To forget is impossible.
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